Cutting through the bullshit.

Friday, 9 January 2009

Bomb it yourself

Sol Salbe sent this around this morning, and I couldn’t resist sharing it.

[Middle East News Service comments: I received this from a reliable friend in Israel without a copy of the Hebrew original. I therefore cannot vouch for the translation, even though I made a few corrections to obvious errors. It is an incredible example of the way war culture is inculcated into Israeli society. The need for groups like New Profile (The committee for the Civil-isation of Israeli society is stronger than ever before.). Yediot Acharonot is the country’s largest circulating newspaper. Hot is a popular pay TV service – Sol Salbe.]

Bomb it yourself

Television criticism, Raanan Shaked, Yediot Acharonot, January 6

The Cast Lead channel on Hot VOD

Listen, the lessons of the second Lebanon war really were learned. That Winograd guy is really something. Every word he said is gold. It is a good thing they listened to him, that wise old man, and really, in this war we are completely implementing “Wino’s” lessons and doing everything right and when victory is -- and it will be -- ours, I think we should have another commission of inquiry headed by him that will check, once and for all, how great we are.

The fact is, while in the second Lebanon war the home front suffered from terrible shortages -- and I'm talking about a shortage of basic living needs, namely television programming that makes people want to win -- this time they deployed correctly and everything is working smoothly, everything is under control and our photogenic and talented war is served to the public -- in case you missed something – on Hot’s VOD. For real.

How does it work? Let's say that after a full day of Yonit, Yaacov and Ronny Daniel [TV anchors] you're feeling a little low. War-shwmar, whatever, but what about a little entertainment? Escapism? Something for your soul? You calmly go into Hot’s VOD and there on the main menu waiting for you is the category of Cast Lead. You select it and there you are -- whole worlds of rich and entertaining content, courtesy of the IDF Spokesperson Office!

In the "operational activity" category, for instance, you are invited to choose between "Air Force assaults," "Navy assaults" and "humanitarian activities." -- just a minute, isn't that category included in the previous two anyway? -- and watch ourselves, as one poetic reserve soldier put it, give it to the Arabs in the whatever.

For starters I treated myself to a film of "assault on the Hulafaa Mosque," after the selection of which the screen wished me "pleasant viewing." I really did enjoy it like I haven't enjoyed anything since my circumcision. After the sights stop on the mosque, the business is bombed from above; a giant bright cloud fills the screen and then a close-up of the burning mosque. No plot, no acting, no sound, no nonsense: straight to the action. If only all porn was like this!

I went on to "attacking tunnels" (a little disappointing), "attacking rocket launching sites" (weak), "attack on Hamas government building" (bingo! Explosive special effects!) and "Typhoon fire on Hamas buildings" in the "Navy assaults" category (the peak moment: when they knock off a lifeguard shed. In general a good movie, even though not the epitome of the IDF spokesperson's work).

You are invited to guess the level of talkback shock and holy outrage with which we would react if an Arab channel were to offer its viewers footage of bombing IDF targets and synagogues as entertainment for adults on a pay per view channel. You are invited to guess how entertained we would be if the film "Wagging the Dog," that movie about a war for electoral purposes, had included such a screenwriting ploy. "What wonderful satire," we would say to ourselves on the way out

Well, why guess. Go in to VOD now and you too can win the war at no extra charge.

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